Wednesday, September 3, 2014

SEPTEMBER 2, 2014 - Changes on the horizon ...

              
           If one asked me last year at this exact time what I would be doing with my life, my answer would probably have been ... 
 
 " NOTHING. " 
 
          Fast forwarding 12 months, another year older, another year hopefully wiser; and today my answer is quite different ...
 
 " My next chapter has begun, and I'm striving daily to fill it with happiness. " 
 
        Three hundred and sixty five days is extensive, even if life seems to disappear in a blink at times.  Each and every day of this last year has been a struggle with self.  Some days were easier than the last, others I wanted to hide from the world, and few I smiled almost in their entirety.  Those are days I deeply cherish and hold tight when the darkness creeps in.  
 
       I've finally concluded (in true Amber fashion) after an embarrassing lengthy time that only I can make changes that better my life, and in default my children's.  I previously would never admit how much stress and strain it caused Audrey and Jack to see me unhappy.  I'd even find myself pretending they smiled and laughed more than they actually did; and they don't deserve to be sad.  I often say that the truth can be brutal at times, and man has this been one of them. 
 
     This past year has been extremely successful.  I've become more apt to ask for help from friends and family.  I enrolled at BC3 for some photography and hospice volunteering classes starting next week.  I finally became a " Friend " to the Neighbors In the Strip non-profit organization which I've been sitting on the application for months.  I began volunteering for a local member supported radio station.  I've pushed to improve my social and networking skills.  I'm making leaps to bring my children and I closer together with better listening and understanding fully on my part.  I'm doing my best to show my kids that life can be happy most of the time, and to smile when at all possible.

       Below is a collection of some of my favorite pictures of friends, family, and places since last September.   I'm proud to say I've allowed not only myself to seek optimism, but more importantly my children.